Political Phrases That Drive Me Crazy

I grew up being very indifferent to politics, for the most part. However, since the mid-1990s, I have turned into a political junkie who watches CNN everyday and reads The Atlantic regularly, not to mention various blogs. Which might be part of the reason certain phrases uttered by John McCain and Barack Obama are driving me crazy. Rather than scream at the T.V., I thought I would "vent" my exasperation here.

John McCain:

1. "My Friends". If I read that phrase again, I might poke my eyes out. I think nearly every paragraph in his speeches starts out with "My Friends". If I were younger, I could get quite drunk playing a drinking game of having a shot every time McCain uttered these words. I don't know why he assumes that all readers or audience members are his "friends" - that is just plain silly. Unless....it is a part of a plan to brainwash Americans by repeating that phrase so often that come November, the nation rises up to pull the lever for somebody they now subconsciously view as their friend. Nah....I'm not quite a conspiracy theorist yet.

And, my conservative pals, don't even bother trying to push me over the edge by starting to insert that phrase into our conversations. I might poke out your eyes.

2. "Surge". This phrase has become the equivalent of Rudy Guillani inserting "9/11" into every single speech he gives. Indeed, if you combined a drinking game with "My, Friends" and "the Surge" it might push the intoxication to the point of alcohol poisoning.

Barack Obama

1. "Change". You can keep the slogan, but it is time to use different words in speeches. I don't know if it could be used as a drinking game because as soon as I hear the word, I tune out. I've heard it for over a year now....come up with something new.

2. "We are not a Red America or a Blue America, we are the United States of America". That was uplifting the first time I heard it....the second time, it was a reminder ....now, it is a tired, worn out phase that is on the cusp of becoming the Democrats equivalent of Rudy Guillani's inserting "9/11" into every speech or debate.

I'm sure that as the campaign drags on, there will be additional phrases or words that will rise to the level of poking my eye out. It is, unfortunately, the nature of today's campaigns that require policy decisions to be boiled down to sound bites.

Oh, Dan just suggested that I could save my eyes by not reading anything political and watching something other than CNN because at the end of the day, in his opinion, it doesn't matter who is the President. I told him I would do that as soon as he walks away from golf....we all have our hobbies.

Back to School = Mommy Guilt

Today is the first day of school, and I have a confession: I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom until my kids were in school.

My mommy guilt is full blown today. I don't mean the, wouldn't it be great if I could have cookies and milk for the kids after school kind of guilt. My guilt is more, wouldn't it be great if they had an hour of just free play time a day. The kids are essentially gone for 12 hours a day. They go to school at 7:50 a.m. and after school gets out at 2:50 p.m., they go to an after school program until 5:30 p.m. From there, we have either soccer practice or swimming practice at 6:00 p.m. We get home around 7:00 p.m. and then it is supper and homework (about 45 minutes to an hour) and bedtime at 8:30 p.m.

My second confession is that because of our tight schedule, I have been reluctant to force the kids to read for 30 minutes at night. The kids hate reading, and I am more inclined, because of my guilt, to let them play for 30 minutes with their Legos than read a book. Which means their reading scores are at the bottom of average and teachers chastise us for not having the kids read at home. To which I've always wanted to retort that a better solution in my opinion would be a longer school day.

In fact, I find it very interesting that as a child, I don't remember having much homework in elementary school. Sports also did not start until middle school. Something has happened, and I don't think it is a good thing. The schools, and therefore, the kids, are expected to learn more in elementary school and there aren't enough hours in the day for the extra learning. So, teachers pass the homework on to the kids and the parents. At the same time, society has moved sports to start in kindergarten and 1st grade. If you wait until the kids are in middle school, they are behind the other kids, and I can only imagine the psychological repercussions.

Because I feel it is so important to just have play time for kids, I feel like the entire society has moved to a system that gives kids with stay-at-home moms an advantage. At least until the kids are old enough to be latch-key kids and stay at home by themselves after school.

Life is Not Fair

I made a fatal mistake early on raising the kids: I tried to do everything fair. If I bought a shirt for Mark, then I also bought one for Andrew and Emily. I went down this path partly because I thought that way the kids would all grow up knowing they were equally loved and I had no favorites. I also went down this path because I am lazy. I could buy 1 toy for $5.00 and have to deal with three kids fighting over the 1 toy, or I could buy 3 identical toys and have a brief moment of sanity. For the price of an extra $10.00, I always picked sanity.

I should have known this was a bad path for parenting when the boys were in kindergarten. They started to keep "track" of how many birthday parties they each got invited to, how many books I ordered for each of them from the book orders, how many times they each got to sit in the front seat of the car, etc. How they could keep "track" of all of these things and not memorize spelling words is one of life's mysteries.

At some point, I snapped. All of the bickering about something not being "fair" just pushed me over the edge. I decided it was time to institute an immediate flip-flop in mommy policy positions and instituted a full blown campaign to demonstrate that life is NOT fair. We engaged in some community service activities to show the kids that some families can't afford to buy school supplies when school starts or presents at Christmas. I stopped trying to be "fair". If I found clothes on sale for one kid, the other two were out of luck (and I was too because I was addicted to buying quiet moments of sanity and the "out of luck" kids did not take kindly to the new campaign).

A few years later, and the kids have steadfastly refused to accept the lesson that Life is Not Fair. I have not given up the campaign, and I use every opportunity to reinforce it. Last night, it was Shawn Johnson's performance in the all-around gymnastic events. The judging is subjective, and our family thought she deserved a higher score on the uneven bars. She ended up with the Silver Medal. Lesson to kids: See, Life is Not Fair. Second Lesson to kids: Look at how she just accepted and appreciated the medal she did receive. That attitude is what I can only dream my kids have as they get older - despite the rocky path I started them on when they were younger.

Life is not always fair - but it is how you handle the challenges that really matter.

The Politics of China or Olympics Part II

Being a political junkie mom, our family discussions about the Olympics could not be complete without a discussion of the differences between China and the United States.

I opened the door by talking about differences between freedom of speech in the United States and China, and the kids could not understand what I was talking about. It was simply impossible for them to comprehend being put in jail for saying something the government didn't like. So, like many things for the kids, the initial way they try to understand something new is to ask questions.

So, they asked questions like:

"Could they put you in jail if they didn't like the way they looked." To make it simple, I said "yes." To which, Andrew piped up - I want to live in China and have Emily visit me and then they could put Emily in jail because I would tell them I don't like the way she looks. Sigh....really, Andrew DOES like Emily....but they have had too much togetherness this summer.

So, then I had to clarify that what I meant is that China might put somebody in jail if they were wearing a shirt that said something the government didn't like, such as "give the Chinese the same freedoms and rights as Americans" (I couldn't think of anything else). Of course, their next question was:

"What if Michael Phelps wore that shirt?"

"No, they wouldn't put him in jail, but they might make him leave China."

"What if he was about to swim, would they let him finish? Or, what if he was waiting for his gold medal, would he still get it?"

At which point, I decided it was time to go back to watching the games on television. My lesson learned: Do not quit my day job to be a civics lesson teacher to 3rd and 4th graders!

Musings on the Summer Olympics

Summer Olympic-Mania has hit our household. Dinner conversation is not complete without a discussion of the Olympics, and the kids are relishing in the temporary suspension of bedtimes so that they can watch the swimming finals live. Watching the Olympics has churned some thoughts to share:

Beach Volleyball. This is an Olympic sport? Is there something about wearing bikinis and hitting a volleyball in sand that has elevated the athletic challenges to the point of being an Olympic sport? It seems a little bit ridiculous to me....and to Emily too. Emily asked whether Tetherball (her 3rd favorite "sport") was an Olympic sport? I told her it might be if they played it in sand while wearing bikinis.

Gymnastics. Both the U.S. and Chinese teams are simply amazing. BUT, I find it very hard to believe that at least 3 of the members of the Chinese teams are 16 - they look like they are only 12. That being said, it simply astounds me that those girls can handle the pressure of the Olympics - both in success and defeat. I can't imagine holding a smile after making a major mistake - I wouldn't be able to stop the tears.

Swimming. Let's just say....how AWESOME is Michael Phelps? AND, how even more AWESOME was it that the USA beat the smack-talking French team in the 4x100 relay! Dan, who is very anti-French (his viewpoint stems from the fact that the USA had to "rescue" them in 2 world wars - even though I reminded him that we wouldn't be the USA without the French help in the Revolutionary war) couldn't believe the French had the audacity to talk smack about the USA team. Lesson learned: smack talk is never a good thing. Creates bad karma.

Politics - July 1979

In July 1979, I was 9, and my world was focused on making sure that I was at the swimming pool at 1:00 p.m. when it opened, avoiding my obnoxious brother at all costs and pretending that I was one of Charlie's Angels. Out of curiosity, I googled the date to find out what was really happening in the world in July of 1979 (clearly I am procrastinating on working). What I found on wikipedia was rather timely and interesting (at least to me, the political junkie):

Assistant Senate Republican leader Ted Stevens says President Carter “might be having some sort of a mental problem” and suggested that the chief executive “take a rest.” He said he was prompted by cloakroom talk about Carter’s shakeup of his Administration, and because Carter is commander in chief of the military. “I thought we were looking at another Nixon...now I know we’re looking at another Nixon.”

Ted Stevens was indicted yesterday for corruption charges....and he is linking Carter to Nixon. Priceless.

President Carter outlines a six-point program to reduce the current level of oil imports by 50% by 1990. The quota would be met by conservation and development of substitute fuels. The U.S. imports about 9 million barrels a day.

What would the world be like if Carter had been re-elected in 1980 - maybe gas would not be $4.00 a gallon and hybrids would have made their debut in 1988.

Now, while I find these things interesting, if Dan reads this blogpost, he would comment "it just goes to show that nothing ever changes in politics."

Lesson Learned

Before I had kids, I made broad statements on parenting, but once I had kids, those statements seemed more like wishful thinking. For example, I once said "my kids are never going to eat at McDonald's." That "statement" was busted about the time the boys were two and I was looking for an indoor playland. Another time, I said that "my kids are never going to have a video game." That was busted about the time the kids were 5 and "Santa" bought them Leapsters.

This weekend, I "busted" another parenting statement. I swore that if my kids were in sports, I would not be a back-seat coach and I would let the coaches do their jobs. This weekend, the kids were in a swim meet. For the last six weeks, they have been practicing backstroke "flip turns". These turns are technically challenging because it requires that the swimmer know how many strokes from the flags (at the end of the pool) to the wall, and they use that count in the event to turn on their stomachs close to the wall, flip and then continue doing the backstroke. It's hard. BUT, the kids have been doing it in practice, and I know they can do it.

So, me, in my brilliant wisdom, told the kids that I didn't care what their times were for any of their events, but I did want them to try to do the backstroke flipturn (instead of just swimming into the wall, touching it and then going). First up, was Emily. The boys & I were waiting for her at the end of the pool. Then the boys tell me that they didn't practice their backstroke in the warm-ups and so they have no idea how many strokes it will take them from the flags to the end of the pool. Well, how can you do a backstroke flip turn then?! Unfortunately, it was too late to help Emily. Bless her little heart. She was doing an absolute perfect backstroke and was leading in her heat....until she tried to do her flip turn. She turned on her stomach too early. She didn't know what to do, so she stood up and started crying. I eventually convinced her to finish, but she was very upset. I should have just kept my mouth shut and encouraged them to have fun. Argh. Lesson learned. Coaches coach; not parents.

But, all is well that ends well. After an hour rain delay, Emily swam the best 50 meter breast stroke that we have ever seen her do, and she qualified for the state meet in that event with a time of 1:03:27. To qualify she needed at least a 1:10:59. Her smile at the end of that event made all the tears from the backstroke event a forgotten memory. Fortunately, her mom's memory is very long, and I don't think I will ever forget the lesson that I learned at this swim meet.